People ask me about Ireland, and it's hard to put it into a few sentences, so I usually just say that it was awesome. It really was everything I could have hoped it would be. I saw a soul saved and as Luke 15:7 says, "there is more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance." God also gave me grace to see other seeds begin to grow, though not to fruition yet. I have heard from Brian that a couple of the men we talked to at the pub have come back and are asking more questions. For all the good works in which God prepared beforehand (Eph. 2:10) to involve me, seen and unseen, I am thankful.
I am a different person as well. When people ask me what I did there, I tell them things like, "I preached, taught Bible study, visited church members, discipled individuals, did outreach at pubs, etc." Then I realize that I basically had all the responsibilities of a pastor. I suppose was a sort of interim co-pastor. This is a great experience to have prior to seminary. Probably the most important thing was that I've come under a conviction that you just can't talk about the cross enough. It has changed the way I see American Christianity as well. There are far fewer Christians in Ireland, but the average Christian there understands the gospel at a much deeper level than the average person who would label themself a Christian here in the States. In fact, I have been so burdened the last couple weeks at how little American youth understands the gospel. It seems most have centered their theology not on the Bible, but on a non-Biblical cliche phrase.
People have also asked me if I grew spiritually while in Ireland. It's becoming increasing difficult to answer this question. I didn't go to Ireland for me, but I suppose I did "grow spiritually." I once heard a sermon by Miles explaining that the apostle Paul referred to himself lower and lower in his later letters to churches. Certainly, we imagine he was being conformed to the image of Christ, but for him it didn't feel that way. I suppose when we are conformed of the image of Christ, we think less and less of ourselves, as Christ considered Himself nothing (see Philippians 2:5-11). In the last few months, God has revealed more fully his character and holiness. When I see how big and beautiful God is, I come face to face with the reality of how small and ugly I am. But this also leads to a greater and greater appreciation that through Christ's atoning sacrifice on the cross, God sees me as holy, blameless, beautiful. Then I am able to worship Him more and more as I ought. Spiritual growth doesn't feel like you want it to. I think of the Derek Webb quote here: "When what is true looks more like a knife; it looks like you're killing me, but you're saving my life" (the song What Is Not Love) And the great hymn by John Newton, I Asked The Lord (read). God's uncomfortable grace has laid bare to me my pride, false motives and idolatry over the last few months. For this, I am thankful. He has glorified His name through me in Ireland and He will continue to sovereignly glorify Himself there and everywhere. "For the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord as the waters cover the sea." (Habbakuk 2:14)
We we all think less and less of ourselves as we pursue Christ. Good thoughts.
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